I started out my trip not totally happy. I didn’t like leaving my family and animals behind and going back to somewhere that I don’t really know.
The thing is that I’m afraid of the unfamiliar. I’m afraid of being outside of my comfort zone. When outside of it, I’m angry and afraid and confused. Just covering my mind with negativity.
I can’t wait to be back in Maine.
That is what I would repeat again and again.
But I’ve grown to enjoy it here, I’ve had some good times and some tough times but that’s wherever you are. You can’t be happy all the time. So you’ve got to grow up and explore and experience.
I’m happy with Nikki. It’s been almost five years together, just one more month. But I am and I’m getting more comfortable with her family and enjoyed hanging with her friends.
I’ve just got to grow up and see that things are going to be hard sometimes but pushing through that is the best thing. Being positive when you really want to be negative. I’ve only got 7 more days left in Washington state so I’m going to do the best I can to be positive, I’m know I’m happy to be with Nikki and we only have so much time together so we’ve got to make the most of it where we can.
2 months sounds like a long time but it’s not in the grand scheme of things. It flies by really quick and before you know it, you’re standing at the airport hugging and kissing one last time. Until the next time. You’re watching her walk off, red eyed and sniffling. And as you see her going you scream at the top of your lungs I LOVE YOU NIKKI! Because in those moments that is what you feel, you forget any fighting or any drama. You feel all the love in you and you’ve got to let it out even as your heart breaks.
But this isn’t the end…it’s not goodbye, it’s ill see you later.